Lately i’ve been doing a lot of thinking (oh no), and like a good teenage girl (this can’t go anywhere nice), I will now blog about it (could you please not).
Unlike the past few entries, I’m not crying my eyes out or even sitting with a glum look on my face in the dark talking to my cat about how we’re going to end up alone in a little pink house in Australia. It’s been a pretty good day, and a pretty good month for that matter. Things are looking up, and it’s made me realize just how selfish I am.
Yes, you heard me, selfish.
Who the heck am I to be unhappy with my life…ever? I mean I have it really good, and not just in the “I’m an American citizen who could eat 8 burgers a day if I wanted” way, in the I have the most amazing people to spend time with and the opportunity to do absolutely anything I want with my life (granted I pass my SAT’s in June, no pressure). As such a privileged human being, I think I got way too complacent and frankly bored with my own life.
Think about every single movie you’ve ever watched in which the main characters travel to a different country on vacation.
Chances are, they were pretty happy about it! Lots of panorama shots of neon lit amusement parks at dusk while Snow Patrol plays some emotional roller-coaster of a song in the background (hey, you felt it too). But what I never realized, is people vacation here. Well, maybe not in Towanda PA, but America. We live in one awesome place with limitless things to do and experiences to be had, how dare I be bored? The lack of creativity in my past high school years is downright embarrassing.
So from now on i’m making quite a few of those cheesy lists and promises to myself, first of all is to drop my fears. (Spiders, the dark, deep ocean, wrists…don’t ask) Second, is to take ANY chance at trying a new thing (within reason, don’t be scared). And third is to stop living with regrets.
A lot of people talk about this one, even if just on a “yolo” level. But honestly, regrets don’t have to be the big ones. The things I regret most are not saying how I felt or speaking up about something, generally being painfully shy and socially awkward. I’m very done with that nonsense. I have to learn that sometimes people aren’t going to like who you are or what you believe, and that’s ok. It’s not rude for me to have an opinion, and despite how silly that may sound, it’s taken nearly 17 years to figure it out 😛
So I guess the point of this blog post is to hold myself accountable, whenever i’m “bored” or scared or anxious in the future I need to come back to this and knock it the hell off. Seriously Emily, go climb a tree. Go for a run. Go take some pictures of flowers, you like that. And stop sitting still.